Now I’m sure this is a concept that some of you have dreamt up when hungry. A game in which cupcakes, pancakes, broccoli and burgers battle it out in space with pew-pew lasers. You probably dismissed it on the spot like the sensible person you are. But how fun that would have been, right? Well, hello, games are good at fun, and I guess that’s why Galactose: Pastries in Space now exists. Confectionery battles it out against the meatier food types while a large donut planet watches from the distance. This is nuts! Not literally, though – I’m pretty sure this game is nut-free by and large.

The side you seem to take, at least initially, in this battle of the food stuffs is the sweeter delights. You fly around as cupcakes, and it’s actually rather cute to see how small it is against the large roast chicken mothership of your enemies. Now my stomach is genuinely grumbling. That’s easily remedied by seeing a stray broccoli glide past, to which I’ll give chase because I bloody hate broccoli and my mother always made me eat it. Stupid little trees – finally I can send a missile at it and watch it burn!

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“Galactose: Pastries in Space pits hundreds of ships against each other in in the age-old interstellar war between dinner and dessert. Your sweet, delicious homeland needs you to help defend it against the evils of broccoli. Will you heed its call?”

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Despite currently being in development, there are playable versions of Galactose laying about that you can grab. One of them is right here – how convenient. These are supposed to be for testing purposes, but just consider it a demo that’s in the works. Not to imply that there isn’t anything solid to find in there. In fact, upon playing the game, I’m pretty sure you’ll discover that it’s really quite a serious space shooter. A silly, serious space shooter, granted. And it’s on Greenlight, so go and stick your thumb up its pie.

Calorie Counter

Fortunately, Galactose isn’t the kind of game that just attracts attention because of some oddly placed art assets, i.e. food shooting each other with lasers in space. Neither is it the kind of space shooter that just involves spinning around in space until you find the next target to missile lock. If that was the case, then I probably wouldn’t be bothering to write about it because I’ve span around at all angles trying to find ships pissing circles around me as I try to shoot them, and it’s all just rather annoying now.

Instead, Galactose gives you a whole fleet to play with so that you don’t just have one ship to perform the mission with, but hundreds, potentially. Imagine something like Star Wars Battlefront, but in space. And with disgusting broccoli. If anything, what you end up playing as is the mothership – a most delicious dessert with chocolate sauce drizzled over it and turrets made of chewy sweets around it. You can warp back to the mothership at any point to get an overview of the battle. Then you can choose which group of ships you’d like to be a part of and then zoom straight back into the battle as one of them. Mostly, you’ll have access to two types of ship – the cupcake, which is your standard fighter, and the pancake bombers which are used to take down the opposing mothership, mostly.

The enemies have ships that match that, but sometimes their advances in R&D mean they bring out surprise ships that scramble your mothership’s shields, and then everything goes to pot. From playing a couple of missions from the game, I’d like a little bit more feedback about what each squadron are doing and some more battlefield awareness perhaps. Something to make it a bit more tactical, as well as being the twitchier shooter experience it already capably provides. But maybe I’m just rubbish at the game (likely). Anyway, this is what testing is for, and so judging the game is not something I should do yet, I guess. Do check it out, though, even if you just watch the trailer because that’s a sight to behold itself.