What In The Devil? Destroy The Porn Released For Free

Destroy The Porn

An odd request, that one. Are we really going to go and destroy all of the porn? Not exactly, but in Destroy The Porn you do have to discard of all of Joe’s porn before his mother finds it. And unfortunately, that’s not going to be so easy considering that he just died and went to Hell. Luckily, the devil seems to be an alright sort of chap and has told Joe that there is a way to go back to Earth just for a minute. There’s a slight issue, though, and this is where you come in. He needs to defeat Hell’s Beast before being granted that luxury.

Naturally, said Beast is waiting for idiotic fresh dead ones to come and challenge him on the other side of Hell, and anyway, in his current state Joe is in no position to take on such a formidable foe. So if you’re a player of games in any capacity, then you should be quite aware what this is setting up before you – a metroidvania. Of course! Games of this calibre are often lengthy sorts, with enough backtracking to send to woo a government official, but Destroy the Porn – while not being the best game to play at work – is a short enough experience to fit in a coffee break. I’d say it’s about 10-15 minutes of playtime maximum.

Destroy The Porn


“Congratulations; you have died and gone to Hell. What’s that, you say? When your family and friends go through your stuff, they are going to find tons and tons of porn?”


But the important thing is whether or not it’s worth investing even that small amount of time into it. Yeah, most certainly – that’s my answer. It’s a fun little thing that isn’t frustrating or complex; it paves the way for you quite graciously, and it has a bit of an in-your-face style going on, which most will probably appreciate. You can download it for your Windows PC from the official website or from Game Jolt – it’s up to you.

The Devil’s In The Details

Destroy The Porn
Destroy The PornYou head off from the start in Destroy The Porn completely unarmed and unable to jump. Which is odd because in order to bend legs and propel off the ground in this game, you need Bouncy Trousers. Such is the metroidvania, ladies and gentlebeards. So initially dodging the spike traps on the ground involves timing, then later on you simply hop over them. At this point I feel it’s necessary to bring up the controls, as there’s no mouse and you’ll need both hands on the keyboard. Left hand moves with WASD and your right hand manages the jumping and later on the shooting with J and K. I’ve played a few platformers with this set-up and actually quite like it, but some may not be comfortable with it to start off with.

Anyway, from there on you’ll start encountering enemies and will be marching your way through spikes and lava. It’s not until you get the shotgun that activities ramp up and you can start kicking ass. I think that’s also one of my favorite ‘item pick-up’ screens ever too – you can see it above. Isn’t it brilliant? And a bright green shotgun too! The items you’ll continue to find don’t make the controls any more complex than that, fortunately, but you do gain new abilities attached to your jumping ability and what substances you can move through.

Then, once you’re past the one slightly frustrating bit (barely, though) when you have to bounce through weaving corridors outlined by spikes, you end up at the chin of the Beast. It’s actually a pretty simple boss fight, providing you pay attention to the missiles that fly at you and then study the environment in the phase after that. Presuming you get through that easily enough, you’re then scot-free and are warped home to destroy all the porn and you have a minute to do so. Parts of the game that stand out are the speech bubbles that pop up during conversation and to express something that Joe is feeling at a particular time, and the music is rather neat too. Otherwise, everything else is quite standard for the genre, I guess, but it’s a smooth and enjoyable run, at least.

  • http://www.drunkdevs.com Drunk Devs

    A big thanks to you for the wonderful review. I very happy you enjoyed the game.

    • http://www.tormenttimelords.enjin.com snipem1438

      Just beat your game. Great job guys! A little short but hey I felt like I was playing Super Metroid again so that is a merit in itself! Thanks for the fun ride!